On Embracing Triggers
The word ‘trigger’ is everywhere and being used by everyone, especially with the rise of ‘#therapytok.”
What is a trigger, though?
I think of triggers as signals that something needs our attention. It is the expression of an unhealed emotional wound, and information about what we haven’t quite processed in its entirety. The more intense the trigger, the stronger the message.
Triggers are an integral part of our personhood. We can experience triggers in our relationships, at work, in our surroundings, or even with complete strangers. They can catch us off-guard, though. Why am I feeling like this? I shouldn’t be feeling like this in this situation. It is wrong for me to be feeling like this right now. You might find that you are speaking to yourself similarly. As I write this, my wish is to encourage you to move from a place of judgement to a place of curiosity the next time you find yourself triggered. Doing so can be an important avenue for reflection and self-awareness. Here are some things to be mindful of as you make this shift…
Feeling the emotions. What’s coming up? Take a breath and acknowledge how you feel. How strong are these emotions? What are you being pushed into thinking and doing?
Pause. Triggers live in your emotional brain. It’s okay to step away— physically or emotionally— for a bit to understand yourself better and respond appropriately. Writing down what you’re feeling can also be helpful here. Give a name to the emotions. Remember, naming something takes away some power from it (it does not fuel it).
Practice gratitude. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that strengthening this connection to your emotions is a teaching moment. You are not a passive recipient of your life— you can understand your emotions and regain control that feels lost in the moment you are triggered.
Dive into the past. When in the past have you felt similarly? How were you left feeling about yourself in those moments? What fears have been instilled in you since then? How are those showing up in the present?
Bringing these reflections to therapy can be helpful in this journey of exploring our inner selves. With practice and understanding, our emotions stop holding as much power over us. It’s work, but it’s worth it.
